An interview with Jack Knight, President of Australian Rake Society Inc. was hastily arranged this week after observing an odd use of a rake in Lane Cove. The rake had been put to use outside a house's second story window. It was serving as a flag pole.
Interviewer: "Jake, what is your view of rake handles being used as temporary flag holders?".
Jake: "Disturbing, most disturbing. We do not allow our members to use their rakes in this way. Rakes are an honorable garden instrument that date back to the 17th Century. There was some use of rakes as flag holders in the American Confederate Army days. This is the first use I've seen in the 21st Century. I hardly need to state this but rakes are for raking - you know, raking leaves and twigs and the like. The average Joe has no idea how much engineering and design goes into creating a rake."
Interviewer: "So, you'd never advocate for a rake to be used as a flag holder?"
Jake: "It is most improper regardless of the nature of the flag or the message that the person is trying to convey. Rakes are for use in gardens - not on second stories of houses. We will be writing to the householder immediately. Let them use a shovel handle or a broom handle; but not a rake handle."
Interviewer: "Do you have anything else to add, Jake?"
Jake: "It is a sure sign that the world is in decline. You know the world is going to hell when you see rakes being used so badly. Things will go down hill from here."
Interviewer: "Thank you, Jake".