Saturday, 24 February 2024

I kind of lapsed into clams

A wave of relief washed over Timothy as he spotted the empty bench on the leeward side of the ferry’s pilothouse. Gloom chased passengers below deck, where they crammed onto the already overflowing main deck, searching desperately for any empty seat. The prospect of solitude for the journey from the island to the mainland filled Timothy with a sense of longing. A bench in the open air offered considerably less discomfort than any annoyance that would arise of mixing at close quarters with others. From his vantage point the pilothouse obstructed the forward view, yet Timothy keenly observed the vehicles on the ferry’s rear open deck. Timothy settled in for a chilly journey. Timothy found the cool air tolerable; there remained little prospect of sudden outburst of rain.

The ferry’s departure klaxon sounded causing the ring-billed gulls on the railing opposite Timothy to take flight. Catching a glance across the upper deck to ensure he held the deck alone, Timothy shut his eyes hoping for a catnap.

Moments later Timothy heard the loud sigh of a person who completed a laboured climb up the staircase. Timothy’s solitude suddenly ceased. He opened his eyes and observed as the person – a man nudging sixty years of age – crossed the deck to take a seat on the same bench as Timothy.

Hey mate, stated the man.

Hello, Timothy replied. (While Timothy later appreciated that his curt response perhaps upset the man, he remembered being pleased at that instant that the conversation concluded).

Where silence of voice prevailed, the odour from the man; an unpleasant blend of diesel, perspiration and seafood, was a journal of its own. A grimace contorted Timothy's face as the overpowering smell hit him, a reaction the man couldn't miss. The man instinctively shifted further away, a nonverbal expression of regret for the unpleasant aroma. To be fair on the man, Timothy expected that the man chose the upper deck as a means of keeping distant from the mass of passengers. In any instance, the freely flowing cool air did little to dispense the odour.

“That’s my truck there at the rear. The old white refrigerated four-tonner one with the blue signage on the side. She ain’t much but she runs good.”

Timothy slowly glanced over to the vehicles on the rear deck. He hoped his slovenly response indicated his indifference. There he saw a single truck amongst the numerous cars. Indeed, the truck swayed at the very rear of the tightly parked vehicles – it was the last of the vehicles boarded.

“The ferry captain allows me on last as he appreciates that I like being first away that I may complete my deliveries. Time is money and all. The customers like their clams fresh. Every weekday but Sunday I'm on this ferry. Occasionally, I slip captain a tray of clams to keep him happy.”

Timothy glanced again to focus on the truck’s signage. He recognised amongst the blue lettering the words ‘Spofforth’s fresh clams’. Timothy drew a connection from the truck to the fresh seafood and diesel elements of the man’s odour.

Timothy turned back to the man. Timothy was unsure of how to respond or if indeed a response was due. Any chance of contributing to the conversation immediately dissipated as the man continued his monologue. Later Timothy would reflect on how the man never offered his name. The prospect that the man was named Mister Spofforth would remain a matter of speculation.

“For years I delivered all sorts of things to many places. Lumber, whitegoods, soft drinks, laundry powder, cattle, you name it. I crossed the whole country through rain, snow and sunshine. I replaced punctured tyres and pumped diesel at many a petrol station. Occasionally, I got lost on a new route or sometimes I’d take a different route than usual just for the heck of it. I often travelled away for days or weeks; hearing my wife’s voice only on the telephone. At times I drove my own truck and at other times a company’s fleet truck. I ate poorly at truck-stops. I slept badly in the truck’s cab or in cheap roadside motels. Life was hard.”

Timothy noted that the journey was at a point where the island was no longer in sight. The man's voice thrummed with an undercurrent of determination as he continued his story. At the current rate the man would likely speak for the whole of the crossing. At a point within two hundred metres of the mainland destination, Timothy again tuned his ears to the man's story. The man said:

“Then I woke up one day and it dawned on me. Clams. Lots of them. Clams all about me. I’d lived all my life on an island that harvested and sold clams. I’d enjoyed eating the clams. My wife loves cooking and eating clams. Middens of clam shells left by the island’s original inhabitants. An annual island clam harvest festival in Summer that included the crowning of that year’s bikini-clad Miss Clam.

And then, I said to myself ‘why not be the one to deliver the clams?’. My own truck, local pick-up, local delivery, a standard daily schedule, restaurants that require daily supplies of chilled clams, home each night to dinner with my wife. My! I could even have clams for dinner each night – clam casino, clam chowder, linguine with clams, vongole al vino bianco.”

From pexels.com; free and unattributable


Sensing the slowing of the ferry as it approached the dock, Timothy chose the opportunity to thank the man for his story. Timothy stood to make his way to down to the main deck. He observed the clam truck man looking up with a glance that indicated that the story’s conclusion must be told. The man reached out to Timothy and briefly held the sleeve of Timothy’s shirt to express the last words of the exchange:

"You see, after years of long distance trucking,
I found my peace in clams"

 --==--

Written as an extension of part of an encounter the main character has on returning from a 1958 summer job on Long Island (Within the novel: A Widow for One Year, by John Irving). In Irving’s story (page 184 of the Bloomsbury hard cover edition) the trucker finishes with the words: “I kind of lapsed into clams, you might say”. I used Google’s AI engine, Gemini, to generate the list of clam meals.

 

Shalom,
Ozhamada

Wednesday, 21 February 2024

Using AI to analyse your voice

A book The ChatGPT Revolution: How to Simplify Your Work and Life Admin with AI (Paperback), by Donna McGeorge held a fascinating idea of a task to put to an AI engine. The task allowed the AI engine to analyse my writing style. The aim of the task was to understand the writing style so that it could be identified in future requests to the AI engine.

The outcome is that in future requests I can ask Gemini to write, for example, in a “passionate and engaged” voice.

The request I put to Google’s AI engine Gemini was:

Gemini, you are an expert writing style analyser. Describe, as best you can, my writing style in terms that will help me to describe it later so you can better create content in my voice. Analyse my content, which is posted on blogger as a blog post, that follows: [insert all content from this linked post]


From pexels.com; free and unattributable


The generated result was:

Analysis of your writing style:

Overall tone:

  • Analytical and argumentative, with a clear thesis and supporting evidence.
  • Authoritative and confident, using strong verbs and clear statements.
  • Humorous at times, using satire and sarcasm to make points.
  • Passionate and engaged, with strong personal convictions.

Word choice:

  • Precise and specific, using terms directly related to the topic.
  • Occasionally informal, using contractions and casual phrases.
  • Biblical references and theological terminology integrated naturally.
  • Descriptive without being flowery, painting a clear picture with words.

Sentence structure:

  • Varied sentence length and structure, avoiding monotony.
  • Frequent use of rhetorical questions and direct address to engage the reader.
  • Effective use of transitions to guide the reader through the argument.
  • Conversational tone at times, creating a sense of direct interaction.

Figurative language:

  • Occasional use of metaphor, analogy, and simile to illustrate points.
  • Humor often relies on sarcasm and satire, highlighting inconsistencies.
  • Vivid imagery used sparingly, focusing on clarity over embellishment.

Additional notes:

  • The writing exhibits a distinct and recognizable "voice" - one that is knowledgeable, opinionated, and engaging.
  • The style demonstrates a comfortable handling of both formal and informal registers, adjusting to suit the intended audience.
  • The use of real-life examples and case studies strengthens the argument and makes it relatable.

Suggestions for using this analysis:

  • When requesting content in your voice, provide specific examples of writing you like that share similar characteristics.
  • Highlight the aspects of your style you value most and want emphasized.
  • Share any specific audience or purpose you have in mind for the content.

I hope this analysis helps you to better understand and describe your writing style. I am happy to continue assisting you in creating content that reflects your unique voice!


I had earlier used the book to create this linked post summarising as aspect of Exodus Chapter 1.

I borrowed The ChatGPT Revolution: How to Simplify Your Work and Life Admin with AI (Paperback), by Donna McGeorge from City of Sydney Library. This post links from my Goodreads review of the book.

Shalom,
Ozhamada

Tuesday, 20 February 2024

Shiphrah and Puah: Midwives to Pharaoh, Mothers to Mayhem (and Mayhem-avoidance)

From Exodus 1

Right, well, where do I even begin? You see, life as a midwife in Egypt ain't exactly a laugh a minute. Long hours, questionable hygiene, and the ever-present threat of a royal sandal up your backside – standard midwife stuff, really. But then, Pharaoh throws a real spanner in the works, doesn't he? "Just pop off any wee lads coming out, will you?" he says, as casual as you please, like asking for the sugar. Now, call me old-fashioned, but infanticide wasn't exactly in my job description.

So, me and my pal Puah, we have a wee chat. "Right," I say, "fancy a bit of divinely-sanctioned civil disobedience?" Puah, bless her cotton socks, was always game for a giggle (and let's face it, defying a homicidal Pharaoh is bound to raise a chuckle). So, we did what any self-respecting midwife with a conscience would do: we lied. Like, Olympic-level fibbing. "Egyptian women? Pah!" we'd scoff. "They take forever to give birth, wouldn't know a contraction from a camel's cough. These Hebrew ladies? Pop 'em out like popcorn!" Pharaoh, bless his gullible little heart, lapped it up.

Now, let me tell you, keeping a straight face while delivering a bouncing baby boy while simultaneously formulating a plausible lie on the fly is enough to turn your hair grey (though mine was already the colour of desert sand, thanks to the Nile water and the ever-present sun). But we did it. Every little fella who squawked his way into the world got a wink, a smile, and a quick dunk in the birthing pool (minus the crocodiles, obviously). Talk about baptism by fire!

Google Gemini generated image; the midwives in discussion with Pharoah


Of course, Pharaoh eventually cottoned on. Not the brightest spark, that one. He summoned us, face like a thundercloud, and demanded answers. Now, some might crumble under such pressure. Not Shiphrah and Puah, oh no. We doubled down, spun him a yarn about the vigorous Hebrew ladies more convincing than a sphinx salesman. Pharaoh, bless his even more gullible little heart, bought it hook, line, and sinker.

And so, our little charade continued. We became the ultimate underground railroad, smuggling newborns to safety while simultaneously delivering Pharaoh's pronouncements with the deadpan delivery of a particularly unfunny mummy. It was stressful, exhilarating, and frankly, a bit bonkers. But hey, someone had to do it, and Shiphrah and Puah? We weren't exactly shrinking violets.

So, there you have it. The untold story of the midwives who outsmarted a Pharaoh, saved countless lives, and probably invented the first deadpan comedy routine in the process. Not bad for a couple of ladies with questionable birthing stools and even more questionable morals (when it came to following Pharaoh's, that is). Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with a basket, a bulrush, and a very special baby boy. Just another day in the (hilariously terrifying) life of Shiphrah and Puah!

Disclaimer: This blog post is purely for comedic purposes and does not condone infanticide or defying murderous dictators (although, let's be honest, sometimes it's tempting). Please consult your local deity for appropriate moral guidance.

--

That was generated by Google’s AI engine Gemini from this prompt:

“Write a humourous account from the perspective of the midwives Shiphrah and Puah, in the style of Billy Connolly, in design of an entertaining blog post, of the midwives Shiphrah and Puah of their conversation with Pharoh. Use Exodus 1 which is copied here: [insert all of Exodus 1]”

I had learnt the manner of writing prompts for AI engines from the book: The ChatGPT Revolution: How to Simplify Your Work and Life Admin with AI (Paperback), by Donna McGeorge. This post links from my Goodreads review of the book. Prompts need to indicate Purpose, Perspective and Personality. The account likely records the first ever instance of civil disobedience.

The strength of the AI engine is perhaps best illustrated in the closing sentence in that alludes to the story of Exodus 2. 

I borrowed McGeorge's book from City of Sydney Library.

Shalom,
Ozhamada

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