Testing Bard on its BBQ knowledge

Richard Glover, Australian Journalist, identified on social media how AI engines were accessing his material:

"There's a data base with all the books they've used (without permission or payment) to train AI. I took a moment to check a few names familiar to me. They've ripped off Sarah Macdonald's Holy Cow; two of Debra Oswald's plays (Dags and Gary's House); four of David Marr's books (inc his 1992 biography of Patrick White); and 1 of mine (Flesh Wounds)." Facebook, 28 September 2023.

It was a short step from there to complete a test. Here is the question I set Google's Bard:

 and the response:

The Australian Backyard Barbeque: A Recipe for Disaster

By Richard Glover

The Australian backyard barbeque is a sacred institution. It's a time for family and friends to come together, relax, and enjoy some delicious food. But what happens when things go wrong?

Oh, the possibilities are endless.

The gas bottle runs out

You've invited everyone over, the food is all prepared, and you're about to fire up the barbie. But then disaster strikes: the gas bottle runs out.

You frantically search the shed, but it's too late. The barbie is cold, and your guests are getting hungry.

You could always try cooking the food on the stove, but that's just not the same. A backyard barbeque is a barbie, not a stovetop cookout.

The food gets burnt

This is a classic barbeque faux pas. You're distracted by conversation, and the next thing you know, your food is black and charred.

There's nothing worse than serving burnt food to your guests. It's embarrassing, and it makes you look like a terrible cook.

The dog gets into the food

Your dog Clancy is a lovable mutt, but he's also a bit of a food thief. He's always on the lookout for a tasty snack, and he's not afraid to steal it from the barbie.

One time, Clancy stole a whole plate of sausages while I was distracted. He ate them so quickly that he got a stomach ache and threw up all over the patio.

The kids start fighting

No backyard barbeque is complete without a bit of sibling rivalry. The kids are always fighting over who gets the best piece of meat, or who gets to sit next to their favorite cousin.

One time, my kids got into such a big fight that they started throwing food at each other. I had to break up the fight and send them inside.

The neighbors complain about the noise

Backyard barbeques are known for being noisy. People are talking, laughing, and listening to music.

But sometimes, the noise can get a bit too much for the neighbors. One time, I got a knock on the door from a neighbor who complained that my music was too loud.

I had to turn the music down, which ruined the atmosphere of the barbie.

Jocasta gets drunk and starts dancing on the table

Jocasta is a friend of my wife's. She's a lovely woman, but she has a tendency to get overexcited when she's drinking.

One time, Jocasta got so drunk that she started dancing on the table. She lost her balance and fell off, landing in a plate of potato salad.

It was a hilarious sight, but it was also a bit embarrassing. I had to clean up the mess and apologize to my other guests.

The weather turns bad

You've planned the perfect backyard barbeque, but the weather has other ideas. Suddenly, the sky darkens and the wind picks up.

Within minutes, you're all soaked to the bone. You have to scramble to get everyone inside, and the barbie is ruined.

The power goes out

This is the ultimate barbeque disaster. You're cooking away happily, and then suddenly, the power goes out.

You're plunged into darkness, and your food starts to go cold. There's nothing you can do but wait for the power to come back on.

Conclusion

Despite all of the potential disasters, the Australian backyard barbeque is a great way to spend time with loved ones. Just be prepared for anything, and don't take it too seriously if things don't go according to plan.

After all, it's all part of the Aussie experience.