Review of a novel, 'Sound Mind Dead body' by Dave Warner – a collection of editing comments part 2

 Sound Mind Dead Body – a collection of editing comments part 2

Sound Mind Dead Body was a novel that offered up some curious text. The curious text first arises in Chapter 1, page 14.

To understand this text, you need first understand that the named character; Lucas, is a Police deputy. The author is reporting on the directions that a senior officer to Lucas had given to Lucas.

“He’d instructed Lucas not to engage the men if he discovered them but to return to the town until he himself returned.” (Chapter 1, page 14)

Now, there are a few curious features of that text; that “He” gets a good run, with a switching between the “he” that is referred to. That there is the presumption that rogues are “men”. The word “return” is overused. It takes the brain a while to absorb the intended meaning. An alternate version of that sentence is:

“He’d instructed Lucas not to engage the rogues should they be located but instead to return to the town and await his arrival.” 

Shalom,

Ozhamada